Share Your Calm
One of the most profound pieces of advice I've ever heard a pediatrician give was "when your child is in turmoil, simply invite them to share in your calm."
This advice struck me as both beautiful and kind to parents and children, who are all just trying their best. It takes the pressure off of parents to control their child's behavior and encourages them to cultivate stillness and mindfulness in themselves, which they can then share.
Our parenting styles change when we realize it's not our job to take away anyone's struggle or to protect them from the hurts of this world.
Instead, our job is to share the tools, practices and perspective shifts that help to maintain joy and peace despite our own life's ups a downs. It might be a breathing practice or mantra. It could be gratitude journaling or signing a silly song when times are tough. Either way, doing our own work to manage our emotions, expectations and inner life always benefits our kids.
If you want to learn more about this topic, consider reading Dr. Lisa Damour's book "Untangled" and Dr. Brene Brown's book "The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting" as a start. I'd love your suggestions as well if you have them.
Wishing you wellness, Dr. Kate